Pregnancy Conflicts...

Not withstanding what da Jackhammer may think or say about this nude "Brit" deal, because as we all know, Johnny T beats to his own drum, but I gotta say that airbrushing or not, it has got to take some big ones to pose nude on a national magazine that Brit has taken on. Not many women could do that. I know, I know you are all thinking well any pregnant woman could be on a magazine if she's airbrushed but I disagree. Now I am not going to make a big deal about it but I'll just have to wait and see one day when da Jackhammer gets his own pregnant and is repulsed by the thought of his naked pregant lady. Until next time America and the WORLD!

I would have to say that Britney on the cover of Bazaar is no need to stop the presses, as my partner Johnny T. so dramatically mentioned, oh I am sorry, The HANDSOME JOHNNY T….I get an extra 50 bucks for every time I call him handsome…anyways, back to my point. I don’t find anything hot about her pregger pics. Had you brought me a magazine with a pre or even post two kids Britney on the cover of a magazine with a title like “JUGS” or “Stupid, Dumb Blonds with Nice Racks”…then I would say …yeah, go ahead stop the presses. But until that day comes, I say just reach under your bed and pull out that old poster of Britney Spears in the school girl outfit (Ya know what I’m talking about), get your moms best hand lotion, bite your lip and rub one out.

Oh Britney, Baby, if you’re reading this…it’s time you drop that wigger Kevin and get DA JACKHAMMNER and you’ll find out my name doesn’t refer to my powerful wrestling moves…

JACKHAMMNER OUUUUUT!!!!!!!

STOP THE PRESSES! BRITNEY POSES NUDE!

















As an old friend would say... Sweet Baby Jesus! Well it certainly isn't the magazine I expected to see a nude Britney Spears in, I will however take this for now. This just adds to the greatness or possibly even a closer move to what she mentioned in earlier interviews about wanting to do a nude movie scene. Now this girl just seems to be itchin' to get naked... not a problem with me. I know some of you out there might be saying its just a little too late for that and well I gotta disagree. You see Britney is still a star and she still has money and therefore she's got the dough to make her body look smokin' again. Now all she's gotta do is quite screwin' around with these kind of mags and get with the King of Class.... that's right.... everybody's daddy Mr. Hugh Hefner. Straight pimp and a half! But for now.... nice work Brit... body is lookin' good even though I am sure they used more airbrushing on these images than an artist at the beach doing caricatures for twenty bucks a pop!

On Top Of The Mountain...


So as I sit atop the highest mountain on what appears to be a platinum throne, I think... hmmm... I bet we got people out there wondering what Team Tahoe and Johnny T are about... Well lemme tell ya brutha... Pure greatness with a great set of locks. Now I find myself to be a youthful kind of guy. Again you may be thinking Johnny T, how do you stay so youthful? Well honestly, it's all about two things -

#1 Bacon. Yes you may be wondering about this one. The savory smokey flavor of a good slice of bacon breathes life into me like no other. It energizes you and gives you brain power. It's true... It's damn true. Anything wrapped in bacon makes that anything 100 times better. What's that you say? Bacon wrapped pork? Yes I've tried it and its delicious. What makes a good sandwich you might ask? Two slices of lightly toasted wheat bread, a small dab of light mayo, and 4 count them 4 slices of thick country bacon. You may choose to add eggs... avocado (at least half of the avocado), Jimmy Dean sausage(Original or Spicy), and maybe a good layer of hash browns. Calories? Doesn't matter... Fat content? Who cares? Why? Because you only live once and Babe the pig died to bring a smile to your face and give you brain power.

#2 Grey Goose Vodka. Now I know I specified Grey Goose because its the best. I'm not talking about that crap the market sells at $5 bucks for a gallon of no name brand vodka. That's not vodka... it's crap. Don't be fooled by the cheap designer bottles either... They may look nice but again trust your Uncle Johnny when he says to stay away from the cheap stuff. Speaking of Uncle Johnny, that reminds me of the best Great Uncle in the world... my dear old Papa John. Such a good man and the first time I ever got to have a drink beside him is something I'll never forget. Miss you greatly Papa J. Ok kids... so back to why G.G. Vodka is good for ya. It heals everything, Yes it really does. Got a headache? G.G. Vodka and Tonic. Had a bad day at work? G.G. Vodka, Tonic, and a twist of lime. Feel like having a nice drink with your wife on a Friday night? G.G. Vodka, Pina Colada Mix, and good crushed ice. It hits the spot everytime. Show some class when you hit the bars... Ya know... bartending can be a hard job and I respect those guys and gals greatly but they will always give you that "shit" liquor and we all know that it ain't the Goose. Ask for it by name and you too will be on your way to being as enlighted as your ol' Uncle Johnny...

Next time we will discuss the greatness of steak, Heineken, cheesecake, and a great baked potato!

Yesterday WWE’s Raw presented the Vengeance PPV. While this was not, in my opinion, the best WWE PPV in recent time. I feel it served its purpose of Vincent’s push of the recently revived ECW, which is now under WWE control. There were two things other then the ECW push that made the PPV worth watching.
The first being the three way match for the Intercontinental Belt between Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro and that cool guy, Carlito. Now granted Carlito didn’t walk away with the belt as most thought he would (Johnny Nitro won), it was still a sweet match. All three are young, fast, and creative as hell in their moves. There was a three man suplex of the top turn buckle that was a sight to see. These guys are not afraid to push their bodies to the limit.
Second was the long awaited reuniting of HHH and Shawn Michaels, better known as DX. The match itself was a little drawn out and not really anything to write home about, but none the less, seeing DX in the ring and kicking ass is always a good time.
While like I mentioned, the PPV all in all was not the best, but it paved the ground work for ECW to stand as a successful brand on the SCI-FI network as well as the mayhem and chaos that DX will bring to Monday Night Raw and future PPVs. And if you don’t agree with my Vengeance review, you know what you can do….SUUUUUUCK IT!!!

JACKHAMMER, OUUUUT!

I would have to agree with my partner Johnny T., Ana de la Reguera is definitely one spicy tamale. I think I just may have reserved a spot in hell for the things I thought of doing to Ana’s nun character while watching Nacho Libre. It seems that our south of the border hottie doesn’t have much of a history in main stream films in the great U.S OF MOTHER-TRUCKER A, but hopefully that will all change after Naaaaaaaaachoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! JACKHAMMER, OUT!!!!

Yeah Baaaaby!


Now this is one super fine Latina.... yes I know shocking to hear from good ol' JT but its true... This is the hot little beauty from Nacho Libre starring Jack Black. A definite kick ass movie. Born in April of '77... knew there was something special about this grade A choice cut piece of meat.

You know its always nice when old world meets new world…especially when the old world of Playboy Magazine meets the new world of the internet. This months PB has a very sexy Vida Guerra blessing the pages of Playboy as well as its website. For those who don’t know who Vida Guerra is, all I can only say is two things…SHE IS HOT! And…GOD DAAAAMN SHE’S HOT!! So go out and slap down your hard earned money at your local 7 Eleven and treat yourself to the sweetest eye candy since your first trip to a strip club.
It will be well worth it and satisfaction guaranteed or your money back…that’s right folks if you are not satisfied by the current issue of Playboy my partner, Johnnnnnnny T. will cut you a personal check and will mail it to your home address.
Ok, ok maybe he won’t but trust me on the Playboy issue its SLAPtastic. Come on when has your ol’ buddy Jackhammer let you down?

The Hills Have Eyes & Tucker Max

So I made two great purchases over the last few days... The 1st was "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell". Now while I agree with this statement alone, with my luck, it won't happen. But I digress... I have only read a mere few pages so far of this book and well this is the kind of guy that I could see myself sharin' a beer with at a sleezy dive bar with crappy lighting. This book follows the true life travels of Tucker Max and his loves in life whether it be a night out with the guys to bad blowjobs. Hilarious! Now go check his site out - his link is to the right in our links section. Her has a few of the stories from his book for you to enjoy. Check it out forsure.

My second purchase which was last night was the Unrated Hill Have Eyes DVD. Top notch package I must say. Now I do have to question what extra little things have been added that we didn't see in the theatres... You can figure it out, you let me know... I did watch the making of this morning and it is definitely one of the best ones I have seen so far. It is just done very well. I do give this remake a thumbs up. Yo Jackhammer.... did you catch this flick in the theatre and have you made the purchase yet?

Two Bottles of Heineken & A Great Steak


So does life get any better than two bottles of ice cold Heine in a frosty mug and a delicious steak? Possibly... how? Grey Goose Vodka and Tonic with a delicious steak. The sensation one feels after having such a delicious dinner is like heaven... All day long I have been craving a good beer... the heat of the sun beating down on you... a long day of work... stressful people surrounding you as you work yourself to the bone... just a few reasons worth having a beer for. Too bad all this happened before 10 am. Thank god for Heineken. Lets all live in a Heineken World. It heals all.

This is DA JACKHAMMER...And unlike my partner here I don’t care for flashy entrances or bullshit speeches...I am a simple man with simple needs....to CRUSH ALL THOSE WHO OPPOSE TEAM TAHOE...we are here to dominate and do nothing less...and for those who care to hop on and join the ride...GET YOUR ASS ON BOARD!!!! For we are going to travel through the worlds of music, movies, KISS, Wrestling, Steak, PORN and the crap that we deal with on a daily basis from those who try to keep TEAM TAHOE from reaching the mountain top!

Making his way down the aisle… he weights in at a gut busting 228lbs… hailing from Sunny Southern California and now making his home in Salt Lake City… he is the Former 1995 Green Jello Wrestling Champion and current holder of the Smackdown Vs. Raw 2006 Championship Title… please rise for the one… the only… Handsooooome Johnnnnnnnnny Tahoe! Tahoe! Tahoe!

---Cut the MUSIC! Why am I here? Simply put… to EDUCATE. Yes educate… you may wonder what I have to offer you all and it’s simple… Along here on this wild ride with my Brother-At-Arms DA Jackhammer… we shall bring forth our dominant force and set new standards, opinions, highlights if you will, thoughts and general ideas on how we progress on a day to day basis. And you may see as time goes on you too may see the light that we follow and may join us in this trek of greatness.

Only time will tell…