2006 Is Almost Over & Dead...

Boy has this year sucked some major ass. One and only one great thing came out of this year and that was the birth of my second beautiful daughter. Had that not happened, this whole damn year would have been one good long year wasted of my life. Not to mention the fact that my fellow brothers here also took some major hits.... alas.... we continue on and we continue all in the greatness that makes up Team Tahoe.

Now is there a real need to have a so-called year in review? Not really. I think DA Jackhammer did a good job there. Am I sad and troubled that we have lost the Godfather of Soul Mr. James Brown? Hell yeah.... And also thanks to Mr. Tucker for pointing out that we also lost the original Lionel Jefferson earlier this month also... sad loss. And I wouldn't be myself if I didn't give some props to the man that gave a full pardon to the greatest President this country has ever had in Mr. Richard Nixon.... next to Mr. Clinton of course... and that goes to Mr. Gerald Ford. You served your country well. You did what no one else would have been able to do except for myself of course.

Upskirts this year by celebs were well wow.... The hairless look is in eh? Hahaha What to say what to say.... this being the last post to Team Tahoe for the year 2006.... we did the unthinkable and brought Mr. Tahoe and Team Tahoe to.... oh wait... nevermind. No comment.

It has been a very rough year my children and at times, Mr. Tahoe thought about hanging up the wrestling boots for good and then thought.... wait.... I am Mr. Johnny Tahoe. The one... the only... I will conquer all and I will still remain great. Yeah I took a suckerpunch to the gut this year but I am still standing. Muwahahahaha.

Some key things that made this year great.... Rowdy Roddy Piper becoming a tag team champion... SWEET! A new daughter... PRICELESS! The movie BORAT & the return of ROCKY BALBOA... Two killer movies that need to be seen on the big screen. Classic movie of the year.... CLERKS 2. It didn't get no better than that folks.

I wanna give a major thank you to Grey Goose, Heineken, & Heineken Dark for making this latter part of the year easier to get through. Honorable mention to Hooters of Anaheim, Hooters of Temecula, Hooters of Las Vegas, and the home town Hooters of Salt Lake! All you gals rock. F Jackie and F Hooters of Hollywood. Not to mention all my friends and family that have kept a watchful eye over me through these glorious times when your Ol Uncle Johnny was on the rocky side. I couldn't have done it without you all. Thank you for the great times and I look forward to even better ones come 2007.

I will leave you all with words from a great man... and not myself...

"I have often said that when you win, you hear from everyone -- when you lose, you hear from your friends." -- Richard Nixon

I heard from friends.... brothers.... sisters....

Tahoe OUT!

Well little kitties its time again for DA Jackhammer to break you all off with a little something from the heart. Now boys and girls DA Jack is a little under the weather, so I will make this short and sweet.
With 2006 ending all but a few weeks away, it’s time to reflect on what exactly made 2006 the year that it was. Here are some of the major highlights.
Some people got divorced, some couples broke up, some people got hit in the eye with a softball (here’s looking at you Randy!!!) and some people got screwed over royally by in laws. And I’m sure many of you got dealt worse by the slut whore bag that I call 2006. 2006 is that hooker you picked up at 2:36am on that Tues morning off Sunset that gave you crabs that just wont go away (worse 20 bucks I ever spent).
2006 was not a gentle lover, 2006 bent most of us over, rammed us in the ass with no lube, finished, got up to shower, leaving us crying at the foot of the bed covered only be the bed sheets while our ass was bleeding, and then we couldn’t even shit right for a week! God damn 2006 bitch slapped most of us and if you were able to survive 2006 with out feeling its mighty pimp hand across your cheek then consider yourself lucky.
As most of you can tell 2006 was not a good nor was it a great year for the old Jackhammer. But as I sit here in my week old tigthy whities, with four empty pints of Chucky Monkey on my computer desk while typing I can’t help but stop and smile because come January 1st a whole new year will begin and there will be 365 new more days for life to crap on me. But no matter how bad it gets I will always have Johnny T., BOHICA, and Randy T. in my corner as well as my porn stash to help me through the rough times. So I hope in this season of caring you readers have teammates and a secret stash of porn like DA JACKHAMMER does to get you through 2007.

JACKHAMMER OOOOOOOOOOUT!!!

Oh, and 2007….BRING IT BITCH!!!!!

December IS Here...

So it appears as though Team Tahoe has been slacking majorly in keeping the masses satisfied with notes of pure greatness as of late. My apologies to all of you. Granted it has been very interesting as of late with all that has been going on in the world of your Uncle Johnny. But hey... no matter what happens, I will always remain great.

So at my other online home a day or two ago, I posted that I would be adding a review for the great movie "Borat" but I have not gotten to that just yet... Maybe in a day or two.

I have however had been reading much news and gossip lately for the entertainment world and I tell.... those people are just plain nuts! Lets begin with a story I recently read... Eddie Murphy and the ongoing saga with Scary Spice. We all know she is pregnant and all and more than likely by Murphy... he is now dating someone new and here is just a small piece of what he had to say when a recent journalist inquired about his relationship with Scary and her pregnancy... "You're being presumptuous, because we're not together anymore," he said when asked if he was happy about the pregnancy. "And I don't know whose child that is, until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir." Wow! You know Eddie if you are trying to drum up support for your upcoming movies, that might not be the way to go... the children of yesteryear that supported the Spice Girls strong now have paying jobs and can afford to miss a movie or two with you... Just a thought...

And the other story that recently caught my eye was a story concerning the great actor Rip Torn - Rip Torn, 75, arrested on DWI charge. What is the world coming to? It's Rip Torn people! For christ's sakes people. Bastards... Rip Torn... geez.

Tahoe OUT!

All stories taken from MSNBC.com Check it out kids!

He's Here!

The one.... the only.... Mr. BOHICA is here.... joining Team Tahoe in all its greatness!

Tahoe OUT!

Staff Updates!

So we have good news my children. We have a new staff writer joining Team Tahoe. So as with DA Jackhammer and Randy Tucker, I have know this gentleman for many years and probably many more to come.

So I will not disclose his identity just yet.... but continue to check back as his debut will be very soon.

On another note, DA Jackhammer is a dumb ass. Yes I had to say it. Anyone who works hard everyday like he does for his hard earned cash, takes that hard earned cash even though it may not be legal on the street but.... I digress... so as I was saying.... any hard working individual that knowingly puts said money down to purchase tickets to go see "The Marine" needs a good stiff kick in the ass. Yes he is my brother and that is why I can be open and honest about it.

And to top it off, I do know that even though riding on that mechanical bull was for charity, always for a good cause my children, he really wouldn't want me to post the "special" pictures that were taken of him that time he did TIME for breaking some guys neck in the ring. Yeah we occassionally get banned from a county here and a county there but typically we can get out of it if Randy Tucker is with us because they usually suspect its him anyways. Not trying to say anything BUT.... well it happens.

No these pictures portray DA Jackhammer in a well how should I say it.... well uhm some individual was maybe uhm using a jackhammer on..... well nevermind.... probably shouldn't get into all that.

Alas.... love the guy... and occasionally he makes these wrong choices with movies and this is one of them... save yourself and steer clear away from this train wreck.

Tahoe OUT!

Ok kiddies gather around... it’s time for DA Jackhammer’s movie review… Today I am going to review a little movie called "THE MARINE", starring none other than WWE Superstar John Cena. And guess what little hammers??? His character's name is… JOHN… Take it John couldn’t take the time to remember his character’s name.

Anyhow, this being the second of many WWE films to come starring WWE Superstars, "See No Evil" being the first out the gate, I must say this was not to bad of a little action flick. The first great thing about the movie was that Cena really didn’t have too many speaking lines… I mean do you really want a guy who can't take a good bump in the ring to talk and who can completely ruin the movie? I think not… second good thing about movie was his female co-star, the sexy star of F/X’s Nip/Tuck, Kelly Carlson. Maaaan you can't get any hotter than Kelly, just wish there was more of her on the screen to look at. Then there are the special effects… I must admit it was nice to see a building blow up or a car get shot up to hell and there was either no or very little CGI… damn CGI can ruin a movie. You can see real flames coming out of the building or real holes penetrate when the cars get shot up. And finally one of the better aspects of the movie was the action scenes. And this is where Vincent Kennedy McMahon knew his Superstars would excel at, his band of misfits already "wrestle" or "perform" pretty much 340 days a year. He knew that their skills would translate well into film. The fight scenes, although very few…were great, nonetheless.

Now other than having Cena in the film, a person who can't wrestle himself out of a wet paper bag… there is one other thing that made Da Jackhammer almost get up, rip his seat out the ground and chuck it at the screen…The god damn background music through the first quarter of the movie…the music was as cheesy as early 80’s like porn music. It was driving me up the wall I was oh so close to walking out… the only thing that kept me from walking out was the super hot Kelly Carlson… did I mention she was hot??? She looked a little cold in some of the scenes if ya know whaaaaaat I mean…wink… wink… Yaaaaa know what I'm talking about!!! Maaaan, I almost added extra butter to the guy’s popcorn next to me.

At the end of the day boys and girls, I give "THE MARINE" two and a half bloody chair shots to the head…but if I were you, I would just wait for the DVD and just rent it… but please, oh please don’t buy it… and if you’re even thinking of wasting your money on something, just send me your fifteen bucks and I will send you a signed copy of a drunk Johnny Tahoe riding a mechanical bull in a school girl outfit…trust me, now that’s money well spent… I’M TALKING TO YOU BOYS IN LOCK UP….

And if you dont know..... JACKHAMMER OOOOOOUT!!!!

Stupid People Make Me Laugh... Sometimes...

So I was listening to "The Morning Zoo" earlier in the week here on Utah's own KZHT 97.1. Seems like it is the sister station to Southern Cal's KIIS FM. So anyways they had this chick Desiree on that happens to be on one of those Bachelor type shows that is currently in Rome or something like that. So because she's from Utah, they gotta have her on. Well they start discussing how she got on the show and all and the girl along with her entourage... why does she even have an entourage... I digress... so she continues on and says in the process of her getting chosen and such, the producers slip up and say that she could probably get lucky and google the guy that will be the bachelor. So she was going on about yeah I heard that... and I was like I'm gonna google that shit when I get home! And the radio crew was like OH NO! you can't say that on the air! The chick - oh my bad my bad... and they continue on. Classic radio my friends... so that was earlier in the week.

So I tune in again a day or two later and they have this dating coach on the air and they are taking calls from listeners. Well this guy gets on the phone and he is asking the coach about his relationship. He goes on about the fact that he is 23 or so and he is dating this chick that is 20 and he's got a 16 month old baby from another chick. And the girl he is dating is blowing him off anytime he's got the kid. So then the radio crew starts asking about the baby's momma... So they ask, how's your relationship with your baby's momma... His response... Fuck my baby's momma.... plain as day on the radio... The crew - ok ok... we see where that was going everybody... sorry about that one.

Now I tell ya... I don't much care for this station or any stations like it but those two moments right there were classic. Can you just imagine the radio station taking a crap in their pants once they reviewed those tapes!?! Hilarious... Those kind of problems wouldn't have been a problem had they been on satellite radio.... Sirius that is.

People are just plain stupid and ignorant.

Respectfully yours.... Mr. Tahoe!